Life on the front line (4)

How we laughed at the Captain's wit

The Treasurer, Secretary, Captain of Boats and First Lady enjoying a snifter

Whilst on his recent travels relating to the AEROMED course the Captain is undertaking, the Captain found himself in the US from where the following missive arrived. The bar pictured above was the purchased object in question, which I thought you might like to see.

Bangor, Maine
19th May 2006

To :
Chairman & First Lady,
Gladbeck Towers,
230 Gladbeck Towers,
Enfield,
London,
UK

It has taken 4 days to get to this town near to Canada. Lots of trees. Luckily it wasn’t closed so I bought something you will both be tickled by….Just the thing for my ennoblement party!

P.S. USA remains devoid of planning regulation. It would never happen in a mature country!

The Captain

Life on the front line (3)

All the nice girls love a Captain

Afghanistan

How could I have doubted the Captain? Yesterday I silently bemoaned the lack of due diligency displayed by the Captain in respect of postcards from his recent family sojourn, and what should arrive in my email in-box than not one but two photographs from the Campo family holiday in the land of the Gauls. It would appear that the Captain, in addition to not including a razor in his hand luggage, also appears to have neglected to include one in his luggage full stop. I know he’s been in the army and the RAF, but to look like a sailor really takes the biscuit. A regimental bath may appear to be the order of the day when he returns to Blighty, but until then, here’s another classic from the Captain’s archives for your amusement.

Afghanistan
21.02.02.

To:
Chairman Howard
First Lady (almost) Howard

Hello!

If I have to send postcards, they have to be atmospheric. The country looks much like Hiroshima, and only a really screwed up population would put that on a card! I’m now sitting round the “Officers Mess” (30ft square room for all 6 officers) drinking contraband spirits and listening to some obscure radio channel playing The Carpenters. When we get round to nuke-ing Afghanistan the world will be a better place!

Lots of love,

The Captain

Life on the front line (2)

"Interior of a modern restaurant at Bahrain Sheraton Hotel"

The Captain is a well travelled man, and in much the same way as Alan Wicker (sans moustache, blazer and Barclaycard), has been travelling the globe at breakneck pace for the good of others, although the Captain does so at the Queen’s behest and not just because he likes a good jolly. Ever a thoughtful man, the Captain has generously endowed the Chairman & First Lady over the year with global missives, most of which are not entirely suitable for a wider audience, but I know he would be delighted to share with the Club and cyberspace those postcards of a less politically incorrect (or rude) nature to aid a better understanding of world affairs for the uninitiated. I for one have learned a lot – I hope you will too.


20.4.2006.

Bahrain Sheraton Hotel

Chairman & First Lady.

Your Captain finds himself presenting in the name of Queen and Country (and Club) to the World Arab Psychiatric Conference. 5* hotel, all food included, huge bar bill….a perfect conference!

P.S. Bahrain will be OK when it’s finished

Down under (the table?)

You've never had it so good......

The Chairs of the both the Wines and Spirits and the Fine Arts Committees after a hard day at the offy-ce

I read with much amusement in the Murdoch today that due to a bumper harvest resulting in a grape glut in Australia, wine lovers in Australia can by wine for less than a bottle of water. Like bees to a honeypot……

Size isn’t everything, Captian.

I had occasion to call the Campo’s last week, only to find the Captain in the midst of installing his latest pride & joy, a 40” plasma television upon the sitting room wall of Campo Towers. Plasma seems to be the way forward in the WRC, with the Ambassadorial Abode currently graced, I understand, with a 50” plasma screen and state of the art home entertainment system (essential for watching Thomas the Tank Engine DVD’s, the High Commissioner tells me). The Ambassador, never one to do things by half measure, obviously had a very big day out on Boxing Day last year, and as the VC commented, it’s probably the extra ten inches which makes all the difference. I’m sure the Captain will struggle on under the shame of it all.