Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Tempus Pro Icebergio

The Captain watering his lawns with gay abandon in front of Campo Towers (note the club flag)

Whilst perusing the Murdoch in the morning room earlier today, your Chairman was interested to read that Thames Water are considering towing icebergs from the Arctic up the Thames Estuary in order to alleviate the potential effects caused by the impending prospect of the worst drought in a century.

Members and readers alike will be delighted to note, however that the proposed ban on the private use of sprinklers and garden hoses will not affect the award-winning horticultural efforts of our Captain of Boats (2nd prize in the officer's Garden of the Year at Colchester Garrison 2002).

“A hosepipe ban won’t be a problem for me”, I was recently advised by the Captain, “as I’m considering turning our garden into a golf course. Private, of course. We don’t want any old riff-raff swanning over my immaculately flymo-ed lawns. However, just in case planning permission doesn’t come off, we’ve got the maid watering the lawns in the middle of the night. Well, it wouldn't do for me to get caught, would it?”
As ever, the Captain thinks of everything.

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