Over the top

"I will get in even if it takes me all afternoon"

No prizes for second best

The victorious Cambridge crew in Quintin Boat House, Chiswick (c) Chairman 2007

The Chairman and First Lady, after having tunnelled their way into Quintin Boat House

So, to the 153rd University Boat Race on Saturday, with the Chairman & First Lady in attendance with Sober Dave and old chum from my Union days, Hannah Reynolds. After an improving lunch at the Coach & Horses on Kew Green, we were delivered by Hackney carriage to Quintin Boat House at Chiswick, whose entrance was manned on this occasion by no less than the Royal Marines, who saw fit to deny us entry on the preposterous grounds that we did not have any passes. Well, as you can imagine, this was a proverbial green blazer to a Chairman, and buoyed by the good lunch we had just enjoyed, I marched our party to Chiswick Bridge in order to launch a second assault. Once again, the bridge was manned (or should I say guarded) by the Marines. Bother, I thought, but then I remembered - not only can one go over a bridge, but one can go under as well…..only to find six policemen, two more Marines and a barrier guarding the entrance.

I could not quite believe the lengths that the Boat Race organisers had gone to in order to keep your Chairman & First Lady at bay (machine gun nests, flares and muscles all being employed), but as we squeezed past the barrier, the six police and the two Marines and walked over a (mined) field separating us from the boathouse (and through a mesh fence separating the boathouse from no-mans land to boot) I did feel a rather smug sense of satisfaction, although I did have cause to reflect that it’s little wonder that the Marines were caught by the Iranian’s if that’s the level of security they employ. But there you go.

My euphoria was magnified threefold after Sober and I secured an invitation to the presentation ceremony (we jumped over a wall, covered in cam-cream) and availing ourselves of the sponsor’s generous hospitality. Which, as you can imagine, tasted twice as fine on the grounds that it had necessitated being “earned”. The result? Well, Cambridge won, and we were “asked to leave” the Orange Tree pub in Richmond later in the evening. Which was nice of them.

Tempus Pro Anddontcomebackagainio.