You have been warned

Never a truer word said in jest

I had occasion to discuss with the Captain pressing impending matters of an important constitutional nature yesterday, only to discover after 10 minutes that the Captain was holding court in his “office”. Ever dutiful for a man denied a seat in the House of Lords, even when “sitting comfortably”, the Captain is braced and ready with his mobile by his side on the off-chance that his Chairman might call. Bearing in mind how long he spends in his “office”, however, he probably will be getting a television installed presently. And a lock, one hopes……