A blast from the past

Members and keen observers of the Club over the years may recall none other than Dickie Millward, who the Captain accidentally brought to Henley twice and the boat race once in the early 1990’s. He was last heard of living in a castle in Kent and attendant at firework displays the length and breadth of the Greater Metropolis. Well, he appeared at the Chairman’s station the other day, dolling out leaflets for his latest venture, the North London Open Air Classical Concert in a very fetching purple promotional fleece.

Apparently, he lives in Puckeridge (somewhere up the A1 I gather), and introduced me to his similarly befleeced accomplice to me as one of the chaps they both met at Henley.

“Oh yes, Witham Rowing Club”

his chum recalled without prompting. I couldn’t remember said chum from Adam (it was a long weekend), although I did mention to Dickie another member of the party I recalled, who has apparently subsequently tragically died. I thought I’d put my foot in it again (having one disgraced myself on Dickie’s beanbag in his flat in Enfield 14 years ago), but there was one villain greater than your maligned correspondent.

“Have you seen Campo lately”? Dickie enquired.

I obliquely glossed over the fact that I had enjoyed the company of the not only the Captain but the whole family at the weekend, to which Dickie promptly added

“He didn’t come to my bloody wedding last summer, the bas***d!”

A harsh man, Dickie, but he certainly makes a firework concert go with a bang.

The Bunkers Hill Mafia

The Bunkers Hill Mafia - Coming to a stately home near you soon

You think that the Witham Rowing Club elders are a bad example to the junior members with their fancy dress? I for one blame the parents, grand and otherwise.

By way of proof, the Chairman is delighted to present for your inspection members of the Bunkers Hill Mafia enjoying some statutory recreation, within the hours of daylight, no less. Amongst those pictured are the parents of the Vice Chairman, the Antipodean Ambassadress, the Captain of Boats and the Chairman. Have they no shame?

The day Dave met the Captain

David Cameron during a recent visit to the primary school of the Secretary and Vice Captain of Boats

As a fluke of the electoral process, in so much as that the Captain found that he was the only parent who completed the form of self-nomination, the Captain has found himself on the governing body of the school which the Secretary & Vice Captain of Boats attend. During his brief spell of tenure, the dining room has already disappeared and has been converted into a new wing for the reception class, due in no small part to the fund-raising activities of the school PTA.

As a result of the geographical proximity of the top-secret location of the Captain’s whereabouts, the local MP is none other than David Cameron (Eton and Oxford, where he was a member of the Bullingdon Club), who has been MP for Witney since Douglas Hurd vacated the seat in 1997. So, during the recent local election campaign, David Cameron visited the school, and as a result of the Captain being part of the party of “local dignitaries”, he was deigned fit to meet the next Prime Minister of the Great Britain and Northern Ireland (which was more than can be said for the PTA who were instrumental in the raising of the funds for the building).

So, the Captain finds himself chatting with Dave, who observed to the Captain that the school had "done a good job" with the conversion. The Captain conceded the point made by Cameron, but saw fit to add that “I don’t think Jamie Oliver would have approved”. When questioned as to why by Cameron, the Captain stated “because this used to be a dining room”, after which David Cameron moved on swiftly and was last seen in deep conversation with Headmistress of the school……

The Captain - An apology

The Chairman incorrectly reported that the Captain had been awarded 2nd prize in the officer's Garden of the Year at Colchester Garrison 2002. The Captain wished it to be pointed out that he did in fact win 1st prize in the "Colchester Garrison Annual Gardening Cup" for officer’s resident under 3 years, and the Chairman, who is quite contrite, is pleased to correct this gross factual error.

The work of Salvador Campion

"The Chairman in Club t-shirt" by Daisy Campion WRC 2006

One hump or two

Always easy to spot, here is the latest portrait of the Chairman, commissioned on Saturday evening and duly presented to the Chairman Sunday morning, along with a cup of tea from Aligene, their Filipeno maid, both of which were well made and gratefully received.

For readers of artistic training, the following symbols and narrative are included for reference.

Top :"This is Mr Chairman, I am a camel" (and an illustration of a camel)

Bottom : "Mr Chairman has pink socks. He is wearing them this morning"

Child labour

The Vice Captain of Boats cultivating daisies

In addition to the covert labours of the maid, it appears that the Captain has even got Daisy watering the lawn of Campo Towers. The man has no shame......

What the well dressed (Chair)man is wearing this season

An ever obedient Chairman with the Secretary & Captain

Red trousers, as usual.

Let it grow, let is grow, let it grow !

The First Lady & Secretary testing the trampoline

For members and readers of a horticultural bent, you will be delighted to note that the Captain has managed to defy not only the hosepipe ban (and the prying eyes of nosy neighbours) of but also horticultural science – he has managed to grow a trampoline from seed.

As ever, the Captain has a ready explanation:

“It’s quite simple really, Chairman. It’s a combination of the fertile soil in Oxfordshire and a grant from the Beefield Trust, and as luck would have it, the trampoline even managed to grow from component parts to full gestation in the course of an afternoon”

Strangely enough, the RHS make no mention of the Letsalljumpon Trampolina in their comprehensive Encyclopedia of Garden Plants .

However, the overturning of horticultural conventions must be club trait, as the Cox has in previous years managed to cultivate as substantial crop of compact discs (Ceedee Negatetheweedie) at the Carter family seat in Lincoln, much to the surprise of the Chairman & Vice Chairman when a particularly impressive crop of audio books from the Sunday Times was espied on the vegetable plot.

The Treasurer

Beverley Ann Campion WRC

It seems to be a Campion day today, and no Campion day is complete without our beloved Treasurer, Beverley Ann Campion WRC (“Tiger” to the Chairman), an internationally renowned spendthrift and all round good egg. Tiger is a nurse in her spare time, and you could not think of a kinder, more sympathetic person to offer an intimate examination if the situation demanded it (or just for the hell of it, for that matter.) Grrrrr.

VIVAT TIGER CAMPO WRC

The Vice-Captain of Boats

Daisy Elizabeth Campion WRC, July 2005

As if the Vice Captain of Boats would be overlooked when it comes to the blogging of our junior members! A fine example of Daisy Elizabeth Campion WRC, I hope you will agree. I am hoping Daisy, a noted artist, will paint a portrait of me this weekend when the Mini makes its way down the M.40 to Campo Towers. Get your paints ready Daisy.

VIVAT DAISY CAMPO WRC

The greatest love of all

Molly Irene Campion WRC in the club tie at Gladbeck Towers

It was Whitney Houston who once sang that “I believe the children are our are future” in her song “The Greatest Love of All”. When considering this emotion, I think she must have had a premonition about our club secretary Molly Irene Campion WRC. Molly believes in the WRC so much that she bleeds green blood. It also goes without saying that although she loves her Chairman, her greatest love of all (after her family, friends, Cara, the maid and Bratz) is the WRC.

VIVAT MOLLY CAMPO WRC

Tempus Pro Icebergio

The Captain watering his lawns with gay abandon in front of Campo Towers (note the club flag)

Whilst perusing the Murdoch in the morning room earlier today, your Chairman was interested to read that Thames Water are considering towing icebergs from the Arctic up the Thames Estuary in order to alleviate the potential effects caused by the impending prospect of the worst drought in a century.

Members and readers alike will be delighted to note, however that the proposed ban on the private use of sprinklers and garden hoses will not affect the award-winning horticultural efforts of our Captain of Boats (2nd prize in the officer's Garden of the Year at Colchester Garrison 2002).

“A hosepipe ban won’t be a problem for me”, I was recently advised by the Captain, “as I’m considering turning our garden into a golf course. Private, of course. We don’t want any old riff-raff swanning over my immaculately flymo-ed lawns. However, just in case planning permission doesn’t come off, we’ve got the maid watering the lawns in the middle of the night. Well, it wouldn't do for me to get caught, would it?”

As ever, the Captain thinks of everything.

An Ambassadorial visit

The Chairman & Ambassador celebrating the birth of Ruby at Zizi's on Charlotte Street.

Dining with the Ambassador is one of life’s great pleasures, and the First Lady and I were delighted to be entertained by the Ambassador (sans Ferrero Rocher) during his latest visit to the Metropolis this week. Dale was in rude heath and an even ruder shirt, and in addition to the Witham Rowing Club being toasted, the Diner’s Club also received the plaudits for their contribution to evening’s facilities.

What the Ambassador lacks in formality (t-shirts, coloured shorts and fancy shirts are invariably the order of the day) he more than makes up for in his generosity, and both the First Lady and I fondly recall the Melbourne AGM in November 2003 at which we were served by the Ambassador’s butler. Quite what the butler made of the WRC I don’t know, but we were rather impressed by his presence, in much the same way that the Ambassadress was with hers when the Ambassador returned on her birthday bearing gifts from international fashion houses.

Vivat Ambassador.

Life on the front line

Reflections of life on the front line through the eyes of the WRC’s most decorated war hero, Sqdn Ldr B.H.Campion WRC, Captain of Boats.

5th May 2006

Half Way house! I am at Ascension Island – a small chunk of volcanic dung on the otherwise serene face of the Atlantic – But it’s British to the core….Hurrah!

Tempus Pro Flighteo!

The Captain

Ruby Alice Carter WRC

Ruby Alice Carter WRC

TEMPUS PRO NEWMEMBERIO

Few things give the Chairman more pleasure than welcoming a new member to the club, and courtesy of the VC’s computer skills, the Chairman is delighted to present for inspection to both members & the wider world Miss Ruby Alice Carter WRC, who we hope is going to accept the onerous position of Chair of the Fine Arts Committee, a post which has been woefully neglected in recent years. We will expect submissions in due course from Ruby for hanging on the walls of the smoking room of the Clubhouse, and hopefully works for consideration by the hanging committee of the Royal Academy at their Summer Exhibition. If Ruby takes after her parents, acceptance by the RA is as good as dans le sack. After all, they accept any old rubbish at the RA…..

Many happy returns

The Antipodean Ambassadress in Dead Diana pose in Kensington Gardens

Many happy returns of the day to the Antipodan Ambassadress, who if my memory serves me right is 36 today. Tempus Pro Afewmoregrayhairsio!

Introduction and welcome from the Chairman

The Chairman at Henley in club tie & blazer

Hello, and welcome to Tempus Pro Blogio, the blog of the Witham Rowing Club (WRC). The WRC is unique within the world of rowing in the sense that it is the world’s only rowing club which does not, has not and has no intention of so ever taken to the water in anger. It was formed in 1991 by a group of old friends with a shared interest in the social and sartorial side of rowing and an appreciation of the finer things in life. They first attended Henley Royal Regatta in 1990 and have been represented at Henley on each subsequent year, during which those members present continue to share with anyone who cares to listen the stories and history of the Club.

The roots of the club are in Lincoln, through which the River Witham runs, this being a somewhat murky stretch of the Witham un-navigable by a racing shell and populated almost entirely by swans, lending the club its colours of green & white, (green being for the water of the Witham and white for the swans which sail thereon).

The club’s badge is that of a set of crossed oars with a glass of Pimm’s, United Distillers having been generous suppliers to the WRC on previous occasions. The moto, Tempus Pro Proximo literally translates as “Time for another one”, which the committee considered most apt and in keeping of the spirit of the club.

The WRC is steeped in the tradition of eccentric British institutions such as Royal Shrewsbury School Hunt (est 1832) which does not hunt and is, in fact, a cross country running club and The Atholl Highlanders (est. 1839), formed as a ceremonial unit by Lord Glenlyon, Duke of Atholl and subsequently the only private army permitted by law in the UK.

Chairman WRC

Gladbeck Towers
10.v.2006