Many happy returns (to Swindon)

All I want for my birthday is my two front teeth (and anything relating to My Little Pony, of course)

Jane Puffin & Christopher Chairman performing Bolero at the Link Centre

The young ladies, two Liz's, one Aligene and a municipal ice rink

My wish is your command, Chairman

The Chairman & First Lady are delighted to offer congratulations to the Vice Captain of Boats on the occasion of her 7th birthday. In addition to her party on Saturday at Swindon Ice Rink (followed by gourmet fayre at Pizza Hut in an all too rare a visit from the Chairman & First Lady) Daisy wanted to go to a posh restaurant, and specified that an Ask restaurant would very much fit the bill. As such, a table has been secured for this evening’s festivities, as the Captain reliably informed me in the car on his way to High Wycombe this morning. Her Godmother should be very proud of her discerning taste.

Many happy returns to the rink

Don't look back in anger

(three of many)

Daisy beneath The Clubhouse at Gladbeck Towers, April 2002

Liz & Daisy at Somerset House, 30thDecember 2005

Keen observers of Club matters will be delighted to note that the Vice Captain of Boats will be seven years old next Wednesday, January 31st.So, for the delight of members at the potential future embarrassment of dear Daisy, I am delighted to reproduce from the archives a photograph of Daisy at Gladbeck Towers in April 2002, who looks to be enjoining the plat de jour more than the wine-based gravy we presented for consumption on a recent visit.

Daisy’s official birthday will be celebrated on Sunday with a trip to Swindon Ice Rink, followed by a table for 10 at Mr McDonald’s house of fine dining. Both the Chairman & First Lady are delighted to be donning the skates once again, especially after the roaring success of the skating trip to Somerset House during which we spent an hour endeavouring to avoid falling over. The skating is to be accompanied by a disco, which brings the Chairman’s thoughts racing back to roller disco’s at Yarborough Leisure Centre with the Carters and the Campo’s (not forgetting the Charles’s et al). Halcyon days before the advent global warming and the onset of acne – I remember them well. Make the most of them Daisy – you’ve never had it so good.

The Secretary and Vice Captain of Boats, Gladbeck Towers (April 2002)

25 Glorious Years

Don't look back in anger (two of many)

Three victims of Talking Heads, the demon barber of the Stonebow Centre

If you enjoyed yesterday’s offering, today’s is sure to delight. An offering from the days when

(1) The Chairman was sans lunette (although he could not have failed to miss the VC’s knitwear)
(2) Cameras were larger (see Charlotte’s brownie in her lap) and
(3) When knitwear design was primarily influenced by the Aztecs, not the aesthetes

Any takers to the occasion? Prizes will be awarded for anyone who guessed the 26th of May 1991, on the occasion of the silver wedding anniversary party in Rugby of our beloved Coxswain and her Consort, Richard. Neither the Antipodean Ambassadress not the Vice Chairman seems particularly overwhelmed at their photograph being taken on this auspicious occasion, and your Chairman just looks bemused. Perhaps it is as a result of not actually being able to see the camera a the time the photograph was taken.

Geek (or) chic?

Dont' look back in anger

(one of many)

The Captian at Henley in the Rugby Field Car Park, July 1991

I asked the Captain during a particularly memorable evening recently what his favourite film was. “Well”, he said, “when I was young, it was Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, but now I’ve grown up a bit, I now think that Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure is a far finer film”.

Although neither film is said to be one of the greats of the cinemographic art, both films have their supporters (especially adolescents) and they do appear to have had their influence on the Captain, who as we may observe, presented himself for inspection at Henley in 1991 in an ensemble which draws from the stylistic example of Pee-wee Herman, another star of the same era.

Members with long memories may recall that the Captain was so tired and emotional after his exertions on that fine July day that he initially failed to return to the Antipodean Ambassadress’s flat that evening, having decided to remain on the train until the driver suggested to the Captain that it was “perhaps time to go home, Sir”. To be fair to our beleaguered Captain, however, the Chairman & Vice Chairman did not fare much better in the “who’s the most sober stakes, as the photographic evidence amply demonstrates. Happy days….

The Chairman & Vice Chairman in Charlotte & Rogie's flat, after leaving the Captain on the train

Don't look back in anger

The River Witham. Which swan would you like for dinner, Vice?

Members & friends will be delighted to note that your esteemed Chairman is once again in possession of a scanner, and for as long as it amuses him, he will be producing pictures from the Club archives for your amusement and entertainment, mostly at the expense of the WRC’s answer to David Bowie, Miss Charlotte Carter, during which we shall be revisiting her Aladdin Sane, Ziggy Stardust and not forgetting the Thin White Duke phases. Any requests will be duly considered, so if you’re feeling nostalgic, please do not hesitate to let your correspondent know. And yes, Tiger, your embroidered waistcoat circa 1992 will be making an appearance in due course. You have been warned.

Tempus Pro Nostalgia.

Parental endowments

Mother's gift, but not her ruin

Ruby in the VC & CWSC's best towel

One of the dilemmas of the “parental visit” is quite what to request ones parents to bring in order to make them feel useful towards their children, who for many parents remain the greatest source pride in their lives (present company accepted, of course). As such, the matter requires a not inconsiderable level of thought.

The First Lady & I were due a brief “state visit” this week (subsequently abandoned due to the adverse meteorological conditions), during which I requested that my Mother be in attendance armed with her sewing machine, as due to the Boden trouser sizing policy, my recent purchase arrived “batteries not included”. A pair of inflated pillows which were surplus to requirements at Toad Hall were also due to be presented, as no doubt were a set of newspaper clippings which my dear and thoughtful Mother would consider my life to be improved by reading.

However, these will have to wait for another day. The same cannot be said for the Antipodean Ambassadress, who at time of writing, should now be in possession of some A1 grade cotton bed linen which the colonies are apparently deficient in. The Cox, as ever, was most willing to oblige. And what for her boy? What can a slack man who shy’s away from an iron during his recreational hours possibly want from his beloved parents? Some new towels perhaps, judging by the delightful picture of the Chair of the Fine Arts Committee? Not at the tip of his wish list, I gather. The Cox, in a rare indiscreet moment, let the cat out of the bag when I telephoned to wish her bon voyage last weekend. “Well”, Beryl said, “Charlotte said that she didn’t need any duty free drink, so I asked Ed whether there was anything I could bring, and he said that as Charlotte didn't need any, he’d just have the 4 litres of duty free gin………………”

What more would you expect from a man, who according to his automated email service at work YESTERDAY , “will be out of the office until 22/12/2007”.

Tempus Pro Newtowelsforrubyio

Artistic endeavours

The painting of The Clubhouse, July 1995

The Clubhouse and the artists

The delivery of The Clubhouse to the Royal Academy, 1997

So January brings the departure from these shores of the Cox & Consort, bound for the Antipodes to visit the colonial outpost of our esteemed Club and to meet the Chair of the Fine Arts Committee for the first time. It should be a good weekend in Melbourne this weekend, especially if the weather remains fine, as it did today when heat stopped play at the Australian Open, with all of the overseas members in attendance. With this in mind, I thought it might be a good opportunity for Ruby to practice her painting, especially with her cousins in attendance, and with the submission date for the Summer Exhibition at the Royal Academy fast approaching.

The Chair of the Fine Arts Committee informed me at the weekend that she has a supply of green paint awaiting utilising, and with this in mind, I wondered if it might be possible for the Cox perhaps to be the subject matter of Ruby’s first artistic foray, possibly with glass in hand (the Coxswain, not Ruby). All parties seem keen thus far, and the CWSC wondered if such a painting trip would be an even greater success of both Sam and Poppy had a go at painting Granny, all of which I thought was splendid idea. One can only hope for a greater level of success than that which was enjoyed by the submission of “The Clubhouse” in , but you’ve got to be in it to win it, and just imagine if Ruby’s portrait of the Cox were to be hung in the Royal Academy………

Tragedy

Our heroic captain (of England, not "of Boats"), almost reduced to tears


The picturesque scoreboard telling a sorry story

As a spectator at the Oval on the 12th September 2005, I experienced as euphoric a sporting high as experienced by any discerning English sporting spectator – I saw the Ashes come home. It is therefore a sad duty to record on this blog that not only did I see the Ashes thrown away on 5th December 2006 on television at Howards End, but they were thrown away in the city that the Vice Chairman, the Chair of the Wines & Spirits Committee and the Chair of the Fine Arts Committee call home AND WITNESSED IN PERSON BY THE VICE CHAIRMAN, no less.

Our sympathises should be extended to the Vice Chairman for having to witness such a debacle, and we hope that in due course he can forgive the cricket playing representatives of the land of his birth for being the first side in test history to loose a test match after declaring on a first innings score in excess of five hundred and fifty runs. No wonder the Australians were happy.

"Taking the Pith?" (or "Two Back Passages to India")

The flag of Imperial India (pre 1945)

The Chairman & First Lady in Club safari kit in Thailand, November 2005

Two titles, in much the same way as a “Carry On” film – I hope you appreciate the caption writing, which I consider for some time before writing, in spite of all appearances. ANYWAY, this missive is to announce that the recent spate in blog entries to be curtailed for the next fortnight as the Chairman & First Lady are embarking on a trip to Goa, following in the footsteps of the Vice Chairman who spent a sizeable period of his gap year searching (and often finding) examples of “eastern promise”

The Chairman & First Lady are making plans to buck statistical probability on their sojourn, and are aiming to be two of the three in ten who manage to survive a passage to India without suffering the indignity of an impaired digestive track. Should we get “caught short” on our travels from the hotel room to the poolside, however, the First Lady came up with the idea for a cunning use for the Pith the other evening…..

Buy George, what a dastardly Captain ?

Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh......

The Captain in the Princess Louise

Time for some new cufflinks?

"Mutley" Campion, the medal-hungry member of the club who is so keen for reward that he not only has applied to the House of Lords for ennoblement, but also put in for medal for Gulf War 2 (in whose "theatre" he was not engaged, actively or otherwise) on the grounds that Cyprus was “almost within scudding distance of Iraq” has been up to no good again.

I discovered this when I had the pleasure of dining with the Captain at the Cittie of Yorke, High Holbourn on Monday evening following my birthday. We had a short but sweet repast, and as the chef announced that the grouse was off that evening, the Captain had Chicken Kiev and your corrospondent the Cornish Pastie. However, the purpose of this missive, fascinating though our dining habits are, is to share with readers the fact that the Captain was sporting a rather natty pair of cufflinks, which I am delighted to reproduce for your amusement above.

I enquired of the Captain whether such adornments were as a result of the generous benefaction of his offspring, at which point the Captain looked rather sheepish, and confided that he had bought the cufflinks himself from the outfitters of choice for the discerning, Asda, the previous weekend, much to my ammusement.

I bid my leave at this point, having a previous appointment with Messrs Kwik Save, my tailors, but reflected on the way to being fitted with an acylic suit that the Captain’s pricelessness (or should that be Asda pricelessness) goes from strength to strength.....

50/50 - 1

The VC relaxing after a day in the sun

The First Lady, Chairman, VC & Antipodean Ambassadress at the Melbourne Cup

The Chairman after a very long day

The Melbourne Cup. The race which stops a nation, makes grown men disgrace themselves and a race won for the last 3 years by Makybe Diva, making her the most successful racehorse in the race ever, and a horse the WRC saw win her first triumphal year in 2003. Suffice as to say that although the five members present had approximately 10 bets on the race, none of us had the pleasure of a visit to the Tote window brandishing a winning ticket with glee. We did, however, have a splendid day, and the fact that our visit fell on the Chairman’s 35th birthday proved to be the icing on the cake. To celebrate this auspicious occasion, the Chairman & VC invented a drink consisting of half Seppelt Great Western Brut and half Toohey’s Extra Dry, which we duly named 50/50 and which subsequently proved to be the foundation of our undoing. However, there will be a new name on the cup this year (although my guess is that behaviour of those who attend will be similarly time honoured), and everyone is looking for clues in the colours, names and good old-fashioned. Chairman’s tip? Art Success, in the year that we found a Chair for our Fine Arts Committee, a success for the club in addition to the art world if there ever was one, and a sure-fire each-way success and which currently stands at 50/1 according to my source at bluesquare.com. If only there was also a horse called Ruby Tuesday running as well……

Good egg

Sir Matthew Pinsent CBE with the Chairman of the Witham Rowing Club

Never let is be said that the Chairman mixes with anyone who might be likely to get him on the river in anger, so for your amusement, may I present a photograph of your Chairman with the retired Olympic oarsman (and four time gold medal winner) Sir Matthew Pinsent CBE, who I recently met at a 10km run in Regents Park (suffice as to say I was a spectator) and who thoughtfully consented to pose with a poser such as I. Much more of a sport than Sir Steve Redgrave, who was apparently too busy to become patron of the WRC when approached by your Chairman in 1996……

TEMPUS PRO FORHESAJOLLYGOODFELLOWIO

Junior beer

The High Commissioner sating his thirst in his grandparents garden

The Secretary drinking, ably supervised by the Treasurer.

The Chair of the Fine Arts Committee enjoying a pint whilst being supported by her Father

The Chairman is always the sort of chap who likes to set a good example, and it is thus gratifying to see such dedication to the under-age drinking cause once espoused by your corrospondent as that shown by the junior members of the WRC. Tempus Pro Visitfromsocialservicesio?

Life on the front line (4)

How we laughed at the Captain's wit

The Treasurer, Secretary, Captain of Boats and First Lady enjoying a snifter

Whilst on his recent travels relating to the AEROMED course the Captain is undertaking, the Captain found himself in the US from where the following missive arrived. The bar pictured above was the purchased object in question, which I thought you might like to see.

Bangor, Maine
19th May 2006

To :
Chairman & First Lady,
Gladbeck Towers,
230 Gladbeck Towers,
Enfield,
London,
UK

It has taken 4 days to get to this town near to Canada. Lots of trees. Luckily it wasn’t closed so I bought something you will both be tickled by….Just the thing for my ennoblement party!

P.S. USA remains devoid of planning regulation. It would never happen in a mature country!

The Captain

Life on the front line (3)

All the nice girls love a Captain

Afghanistan

How could I have doubted the Captain? Yesterday I silently bemoaned the lack of due diligency displayed by the Captain in respect of postcards from his recent family sojourn, and what should arrive in my email in-box than not one but two photographs from the Campo family holiday in the land of the Gauls. It would appear that the Captain, in addition to not including a razor in his hand luggage, also appears to have neglected to include one in his luggage full stop. I know he’s been in the army and the RAF, but to look like a sailor really takes the biscuit. A regimental bath may appear to be the order of the day when he returns to Blighty, but until then, here’s another classic from the Captain’s archives for your amusement.

Afghanistan
21.02.02.

To:
Chairman Howard
First Lady (almost) Howard

Hello!

If I have to send postcards, they have to be atmospheric. The country looks much like Hiroshima, and only a really screwed up population would put that on a card! I’m now sitting round the “Officers Mess” (30ft square room for all 6 officers) drinking contraband spirits and listening to some obscure radio channel playing The Carpenters. When we get round to nuke-ing Afghanistan the world will be a better place!

Lots of love,

The Captain

Life on the front line (2)

"Interior of a modern restaurant at Bahrain Sheraton Hotel"

The Captain is a well travelled man, and in much the same way as Alan Wicker (sans moustache, blazer and Barclaycard), has been travelling the globe at breakneck pace for the good of others, although the Captain does so at the Queen’s behest and not just because he likes a good jolly. Ever a thoughtful man, the Captain has generously endowed the Chairman & First Lady over the year with global missives, most of which are not entirely suitable for a wider audience, but I know he would be delighted to share with the Club and cyberspace those postcards of a less politically incorrect (or rude) nature to aid a better understanding of world affairs for the uninitiated. I for one have learned a lot – I hope you will too.


20.4.2006.

Bahrain Sheraton Hotel

Chairman & First Lady.

Your Captain finds himself presenting in the name of Queen and Country (and Club) to the World Arab Psychiatric Conference. 5* hotel, all food included, huge bar bill….a perfect conference!

P.S. Bahrain will be OK when it’s finished

Down under (the table?)

You've never had it so good......

The Chairs of the both the Wines and Spirits and the Fine Arts Committees after a hard day at the offy-ce

I read with much amusement in the Murdoch today that due to a bumper harvest resulting in a grape glut in Australia, wine lovers in Australia can by wine for less than a bottle of water. Like bees to a honeypot……

Size isn’t everything, Captian.

I had occasion to call the Campo’s last week, only to find the Captain in the midst of installing his latest pride & joy, a 40” plasma television upon the sitting room wall of Campo Towers. Plasma seems to be the way forward in the WRC, with the Ambassadorial Abode currently graced, I understand, with a 50” plasma screen and state of the art home entertainment system (essential for watching Thomas the Tank Engine DVD’s, the High Commissioner tells me). The Ambassador, never one to do things by half measure, obviously had a very big day out on Boxing Day last year, and as the VC commented, it’s probably the extra ten inches which makes all the difference. I’m sure the Captain will struggle on under the shame of it all.

Isn't it a nobby one (and just the proper style!)

OK, you may ask, you managed to get photographs of the Buckingham Palace garden party attended by Margaret & Alan Campo, but why no pictures of Margaret's hat? Ever willing to oblige, the Chairman is delighted to share a photograph kindly emailed to him from Bader-Campo on Friday. Don’t they look splendid?

The sun has got his hat on (and so has Margaret Campo)

The Queen yesterday

The Queen on walkabout

Guests mingling at Buckingham Palace

Never let is be said that the Queen does not empathise with her subjects. So, whilst gardens up and down the country scorch under record temperatures for July, the Queen has allowed the lawns at Buckingham Palace to do likewise, as witnessed (a little Captain tells me) by Margaret and Alan “Campo” Campo DFC yesterday. Good to see the Queen entering into the spirit of the blitz all over again by not allowing her lawns to be watered. By means of real empathy, I shall expect to see her enjoying a trip on the tube in rush hour in the forthcoming days. Or not, as the case (of her son Andrew) will have it.

Photographs (c) Getty Images

8 Glorious years

A green 8th birthday balloon

Molly having her nails done, with Daisy eating hers

Molly's 8th birthday cake, and sleepover guests

The Captain and his new hose

The Chairman, relaxing with a Pimm's in the late afternoon

During your correspondent’s absence, our Secretary Molly Campion celebrated her 8th birthday with a party followed by a sleepover at Campo Towers. In addition to the family being present, the Chairman & First Lady were in attendance as has been customary in recent years, and bore witness to the inordinate amount of food young ladies consume nowadays, especially after they have spent the afternoon launching themselves down the impromptu waterslide the Captain and Treasurer created on the 15th hole of their golf course.

A good time was had by all, the Treasurer excelled herself with her cake baking and the Captain and Chairman were only once troubled by a teddy-bear run in order to appease a temporarily disgruntled guest. I for one raised an eyebrow at the choice of evening film, but I was assured by the Captain that what with young ladies the way they are nowadays, The Exorcist was probably quite tame.

TEMPUS PRO DON’TFORGETYOURCRUCIFIXIO

She's a gem

Ruby Carter WRC, aged 2 months

The Chairman is delighted to share with you a splendid photograph of the Chair of the Fine Arts Committee, released today by the Chair of the Wines & Sprits Committee. Good to see Ruby looking so content – Mother must be back on the Gin again (purely for research purposes, of course)

Idle reflections

"Stands the clock at ten to two, time for a large snifter before a late lunch...... "

So. A WRC coxless four find themselves on Duke Street in Henley looking for somewhere suitable for a recreational trough to celebrate the 13th wedding anniversary of the Treasurer and Captain of Boats after a strenuous bout toasting absent friends, welcoming new members and ignoring the rowing as custom dictates, and what do they find but a new establishment with culinary pretensions named after our beloved (Idle) Vice (Edelweiss – geddit?) Chairman. He may not have been there in body, but he was there in spirit. Even the sign was green and white…..

The reason the Captain was not (almost) arrested at Henley this year

"Yes"?

The picture above illustrates why the Captain, a surprise arrival at Henley this year as noted below, was not almost arrested by Thames Valley Constabulary again this year.

Not much beats a balanced diet, as the Treasurer and First Lady regularly remind an ever increasingly corpulent Chairman.